The College Process: "A" College vs. "The" College

This week, Jimmy and I had the college kick-off meeting with his high school guidance counselor. My kids have lucked out with an absolute rockstar. At Lake Forest High School, counselors are assigned alphabetically so all five of mine have had the same person.

At this meeting, the counselor lays out what will happen over the next six months in terms of test taking, essay writing, and college visits. He then asked Jimmy about what he was looking for in a school and made some recommendations for schools based on that.

When the meeting was over and Jimmy walked me to my car, he said “I think my counselor thinks I’m stupid.” When I asked him why he thought this, it was because his counselor didn’t offer any schools that would be considered a “reach.” In Jimmy’s mind, all of the schools on the table were ones he knew he could get into. And that’s when I had my big “aha” moment. The role of the high school college counselor is to make sure that there is a college for your child. The role of a parent (and maybe an outside counselor if you hire one) is to find the college.

I explained this to Jimmy and this seemed to make him feel better. His counselor will make sure that he gets into a college if college is what he wants for himself. It’s up to Jimmy and the rest of his supporting crew to make sure he challenges himself and finds the one that is best for him. (You can imagine how perilous it would be for a high school guidance counselor to suggest schools that a student only has a 50-50 chance of getting into.) That’s why I tell all parents in the same college boat as I am to stay as invested as they can in this process. It’s our job to fill in the space that high schools can’t. We know our kids the best and we are the best ones for this job!

This may seem like common sense to most, but I just wanted to share this on the chance it might be helpful. I want to keep up everyone’s spirits! This process is stressful enough.

We’ve got this!

xo,