I can hardly believe it but we are in the thick of getting our youngest Jimmy ready to apply for college. For so many years, it felt like we were never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel of educating our kids. But here we are with that light shining so brightly–we’re almost to the finish line.
As a parent, I think there are certain defining milestones we experience when our children are young: potty training, teaching them how to drive, and helping them apply to college. I know there are many more to come, but these have always caused me the most anxiety.
The number one question I get asked about my children is “Does Jimmy want to go to Notre Dame?” And while I believe there are a lot of perks to being the youngest of our five kids, the pressure that I know he feels is overwhelming. And while he is very easy going and lets most things roll of his back, I’ve heard him answer this question over and over that he “doesn’t want to be the one to break the streak.”
I think my biggest job in helping Jimmy navigate the college process is to help him understand that there is “no streak.” While each of our children has landed at Notre Dame, they have all gotten there in their own unique way. And if Jimmy decides that Notre Dame is where he wants to be, his experience will likely be the same–distinctly his own.
How I’m Handling the College Process with Jimmy
The one thing Jimmy definitely has going for him is that this isn’t my first rodeo. I feel like I have a handle on how this process works, so this is how we’re going about this.
- I had a really frank conversation with Jimmy about where he wants to go to college and what happens if Notre Dame isn’t in the cards. He is very lucky to have his two favorite cousins also looking at colleges and he said he’d be equally happy to go to college with them. (Ha! Ha!) At the very least, this conversation opened the door to other places he might be interested in.
- We recently made a list of schools that we’re going to research and visit if we can. I put a few parameters around this list. 1.) This school has to challenge him and push him to be the best version of himself. 2.) It can’t be so far away that we can’t drive to him in a day. 3.) The school needs to be located near some family in case of emergency. (I’m weird like that.) 4.) The college needs to offer programs that will set Jimmy up for a future he’s happy about (getting a job, going to grad school, etc.). 5.) We have to be able to afford it.
- We signed up Jimmy for an ACT tutor. We’ve worked with her once before and she is a tough cookie. Jimmy is all in on getting his score up. He knows he will only get out of these tutoring sessions what he puts into them. He will meet with her once a week until the April test. His tutor did a great job in setting our expectations, too. She said she will help Jimmy get his ACT score in line with his grades. We’re thrilled with this plan.
- Almost since Jimmy walked in the door of Lake Forest High School, I’ve been watching for opportunities that will help him grow as a person–things outside sports (which are his favorite things!). Thankfully, Jimmy goes along with most of my ideas. He’s bussed tables at a country club, served as a buddy at Camp Hope, and recently went on a retreat at our church. These have all been things that have tested him and help him make some decisions about the kind of person he wants to be. On his own, he has sought out different leadership opportunities that I think I’m most proud. And this is something I encourage you to talk about with your children. If there is a club or a sport or a class project that they can take the reigns for, there are so many good lessons that can come from this. The reason these experiences are helpful when it comes to Jimmy applying to college is that they shape his story when he has to sum up his whole self in 250 words. The admissions person needs to walk away from his personal statement knowing exactly who he is and it’s even better if Jimmy can also separate himself from the 10,000 other essays she’s reading.
- We have never hired an outside college counselor, largely because I didn’t know that was even a thing. We’ve been super fortunate to work with the same guidance counselor at the high school for all of our kids. He has done a great job of creating a game plan for filling out the Common App, getting teacher recommendations, and completing all of the requirements on time. He has met with Jimmy every year to make sure his classes make sense and are getting him to where he wants to be. So Jimmy, the counselor, and I are driving this college bus together.
- We’re visiting schools where we can–mostly for informational purposes. I want Jimmy to have a sense for a small, middle, and large school and ones that are in the city versus more contained campuses. He has really voiced that he wants a college with school spirit–a football team is probably a must.
- And speaking of football, with D1 colleges likely eliminating walk-on programs (the NCAA is likely ruling in April that all rostered players need to be scholarshipped), we aren’t having to factor playing on a team as part of our search for Jimmy. This could change if he decides he wants to play for a D2 or D3 program, but right now he isn’t voicing that. But when our son Leo wanted to play college football, this did add a whole other layer to our college search. (I wrote about that in this story.)
- For those interested, these are the colleges Jimmy is currently exploring: Notre Dame, Marquette, University of Illinois, University of Wisconsin-Madison, Indiana University, Miami of Ohio, and Clemson. My sister reminded me of some good advice she received about making a list of colleges. Your child should go to a school that wants them than they want them. Not every school needs to be a reach. And if your child’s whole list is made up “safe” schools and he or she can happily see themselves at one of them, how lucky are they?
I hope this is helpful. It’s the closest thing to a roadmap that I have for the months ahead. As my mom always says, there is a college for every child who wants to go. I really believe this and that we can only control the things we can control. There is a lot of luck involved. Another reassuring thing to keep in mind is that if your child ends up somewhere they are unhappy, it’s fixable. It’s not the end of the world if they have to transfer…lots of kids do! At the end of the day, like everything else, we can only do our best.
Please let me know if you have any other questions! I would love to help if I can!
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