Last week, I shared that Jimmy hadn’t yet made a decision about college—or more truthfully, we (Jimmy, my husband, and me) weren’t exactly on the same page about where he was going.
With time running out (a deposit needs to be made by May 1), I told my husband I needed his help to help Jimmy make the best decision he could. And I have to say, I was pretty impressed with how he handled it.
He took Jimmy out to lunch, and together they came up with 10 criteria to evaluate the schools that are in play: strength of academics, faith and values, alumni network, cost, national reputation, student body culture, business school strength, school spirit, social life, and distance from home.
From there, Jimmy ranked each school in every category on a scale of 1–5. He gave each one a score —something objective—to help him sort through what had started to feel like a very emotional choice. While this framework didn’t make the decision for him, it did give him a way to make his decision.
My husband said he could actually see the light bulb go on for Jimmy. And maybe even more importantly, for the first time in this entire process, there was a real sense of peace about what he was going to do. Sometimes our kids don’t need us to have the answer—they just need us to show them a way to get to it on their own.
Watching this play out was such a good reminder for me, too. I can get so focused on wanting the decision so we can move things forward. But what Jimmy really needed wasn’t pressure or even reassurance. He needed a process.
One other thing I was reminded of was that there are things the kids just don’t know. Jimmy didn’t realize that a deposit wasn’t binding. If one of his waitlist schools comes through with a spot, he can go there. That also seemed to give him a little more breathing room.
So anyway…we’re coming close to the end of all this college talk. How lucky am I that this is what’s filling my thoughts these days? Thanks for letting me share it all with you…it helps so much to write it all out!
Have a great week!
Ann Marie 💛
