I went for a walk this morning with a friend in the balmy 20-degree weather. It actually felt great to have the cold on my cheeks as we hoofed it through Open Lands. (For a tiny person, my friend is a very fast walker!) We covered a lot of ground, but the importance of timing was a very common theme.
If you have a high school senior, it’s nearly impossible to be in a room with other parents and not end up talking about that. Who knows where they’re going. Who doesn’t. And for the ones still waiting, you can almost see the weight of it on their shoulders. I definitely can with our Jimmy.
He’s usually my most even-tempered child, but lately he’s been moodier. Because this isn’t my first time at the college rodeo, I know this isn’t about me. It’s about the uncertainty that is this time of life for him. I tell Jimmy as often as he can stand it that however this college story unfolds is how it’s meant to be. But I also know that advice is far easier given than understood.
And then there’s Leo.
When he entered the transfer portal, we quickly realized that we made a small miscalculation. Several of the schools that reached out to him early would have loved to have him on campus right after Christmas. Unfortunately, he still has two classes to finish to earn his degree at Notre Dame. So, he returned after winter break thinking he may have played his last season of football. He dove into those classes, and for the first time since got to Notre Dame—Leo has just been a student. No practice schedule, no pressure. Just being a college student.
Last week he told us this has been the most fun month of his life! If he had pushed through those classes last summer, his life would look different right now. He wouldn’t have had this month.
It’s tempting to speed things up when the outcome feels uncertain. But I’m learning again that rushing rarely makes the story better.
Maybe Jimmy’s decision will line up in a way we can’t see yet. Maybe Leo’s next chapter (and yes, I do think there’s one more season ahead) will unfold exactly when it’s supposed to.
As a mom, patience is so much easier said than lived. I feel that every day. But sometimes the wisest move isn’t making a decision quickly—it’s resisting the need to make one just so it’s done.
So for now, we wait. We trust that what’s meant for the boys will be there for them when the time is right.
xo,
