With the clock ticking towards college drop off next month, I’ve been thinking about the things that I wish I knew before took Grace to college. I was so incredibly sad when she left, much sadder than I needed to be. I’m not saying that it gets easier with each child I’ve taken to college, but I have learned a few lessons along the way that have help me get through it.
Here are the five things that have helped me navigate college drop off better.
- You’ll feel a lot—so just let yourself feel it. There’s joy, pride, and maybe a big lump in your throat. Let it all be there. Tears don’t mean you’re falling apart. They mean this moment matters.
- Don’t be surprised if your child is “prickly” before they go. One of my friends told me that a bird poops in its nest before it flies away—the same is true for children. (Ha!) Sometimes they do their best to make us want them to leave. Just know that this is their way of telling you that the upcoming transition makes them nervous, too.
- Your role is shifting, not disappearing. You’re still the anchor—but now you get to cheer from the sidelines as they take the lead. This is all part of the maturity process and them becoming adults.
- Your child might not text back right away—don’t panic. Silence often means they’re adjusting, not forgetting you. My children have been both extremes—ones that text every day and ones where I need to file the occasional missing person report (Leo!!!). It’s all good. They will always find us when they need us.
- Home will feel different for a bit. It’s a new chapter for them—and for you. Give yourself time to adjust. Watching your child thrive will become your peace. Remember, raising independent children has been the goal!
I hope this big-sister advice is helpful. College is so much fun for kids and parents, but it’s also a big adjustment for everyone involved. I promise what they say is true–it just keeps getting better and better!
xo,
photo by Robin Subar
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